Aryia & Elton

Assistance Dog owner Robyn & Elton

If you've met one child who is autistic, you've met one child whose autism is unique to them; there's no one size fits all. It's a broad spectrum and presents in many ways.

When I'm speaking about our daughter, I'm talking about our unique experience, but in saying that too it may resonate for many families.

Our journey

Aryia was my second born, with a 7-year age gap. From the get-go, our experience of having a girl was different. She hit all her milestones, walked early, but then, at 14 months old, that all changed. She lost the eye contact she had and appeared to be very much "in her own world" and disengaged with us.

At 2 and a half, whilst I was pregnant with her younger sister, the health nurse raised some "red flags" with us and put her forward for assessment. She didn't respond to her name, and some behaviours she had were quite repetitive, such as lining up items. When out and about, it became incredibly difficult as Aryia had no sense of danger, and the only way I could describe it is this little girl had a fascination with water; both a puddle and a lake held the same value in her eyes, and she had no issue with diving into both.

A parent's first instinct when that precious little bundle is placed into your arms is to protect them and keep them safe whilst helping to shape them into the person they become.

It soon became apparent that we as parents, could no longer do that for our child.

This carefree wildflower who loved to run, jump, and dance was no longer safe to do so when out and about as something could catch her eye, and she would be gone off running without a second thought about possible dangers.

With the arrival of her newborn baby sister, the antics were heightened. I often had to push the buggy to strangers so I could dart after Aryia, and I became less confident about taking her out unless she was confined to her buggy.

She was diagnosed as ASD, non-verbal with sensory processing disorder.

As parents, we went through our own emotions as any person does, and our world at the time had become smaller as she found it hard to wait in queues and visit noisy or busy surroundings, but the biggest danger was that she was a massive flight risk.

We persevered as we wanted to ensure that she had the best possible chance to experience everything her siblings did, but outings were stressful. I'd have to research all possible escapes and exits from places we visited, and I often felt like a prisoner in our own home because outings and family days for the most part ended in tears, both hers and ours.

As a mum, it broke my heart because this young girl wanted adventure and thrived in the outdoors, but how do you adapt when the day-to-day things people do are no longer safe to do so.

A friend of mine had an Assistance Dog and her son thrived, and I saw the amount of outings they could undertake. I applied to every charity I knew and was heartbroken each time we were refused. As you can imagine, the costs involved for these charities to train these life-changing Assistance Dogs are high.

We then had an extremely tall 5-year-old girl confined to a buggy for all outings. When she had outgrown her buggy, I asked our early intervention team for help or a solution, and their response was to supply us with a wheelchair. This made me both furious and sad that that was the only option available for a very active, happy girl who had absolutely no mobility issues whatsoever.

In May 2021, we decided to partake in the 100k for May for Irish Guide Dogs. Family and friends soon got word of what we were doing and joined our team. So, together we collectively raised over €13,000 but also people's awareness; I spoke on radio, appeared in the paper and posted our journey on my own personal social media. We had such support and people often thanked us for highlighting the work of this incredible charity.

The waiting list again opened up. We had applied every year before that, and when we received the email to say we had been successful, we honestly felt like we had won the lotto. We finally had a chance to change our family's life and keep our little girl safe when out and about.

The Irish Guide Dogs have an incredible process for selecting and ensuring suitability for matching with their dogs. This process from start to finish is necessarily quite gruelling and thorough, but these highly trained dogs are in huge demand and although it's life-changing, it's a huge undertaking for a family. There's a number of stages; interviews, attachment walks and the family travels to the Training Centre in Cork to meet some dogs and see how they interact. When the perfect match has been found, one parent travels to Cork to stay with the dog to train to become the main handler; this I found extremely challenging as I'd never left my family for so long before.

December 2022 - a Christmas we will never forget. Exactly a year to the date when we received that email that we had been placed on the list, we got to bring Elton home. I was like the mom of a newborn baby with this precious life-changing dog. I even set up the baby monitor to make sure he was okay during the night.

When people ask what life is like since we've got Elton or how he has helped, I always say that he hasn't just changed Aryia's life but the entire family. He's given me the confidence to take her anywhere as I have that extra pair of paws to keep her safe. The role of an Assistance Dog is to act as a child's anchor should they try to bolt or dart off. They’re attached to the dog using a special harness or belt and they also hold a handle on the dog’s jacket. So, if they go to bolt the dog will be told to sit and wait and the child cannot freely escape.

I always use the example of my 16-year-old son Jamie who plays rugby. I hadn't managed to make many of his matches as Aryia would often run onto the pitch and she had to be grabbed off the pitch as she nearly became part of the scrum - I made the decision that I could no longer attend his matches. Bringing Elton home, and right in the middle of rugby season, from then on, we've attended every match as with Aryia attached, we are now safe to do so. My son went on last year to win "Most Improved Player". What I'm trying to describe is that Elton has changed all of our lives, not just Aryia’s, because we can now go anywhere. There are no boundaries, and often, things people take for granted, such as mundane shopping tasks or just daily living, can now be done without stress and worry. We can now keep our little lady safe.

Furthermore, Aryia is no longer a prisoner in her own home, and it may be coincidence, as I know it's not the same for all children who are autistic, but in the two years we've had Elton, our girl has also found her voice.

Thank you for reading our story. We often post our journeys on our Offaly Branch Facebook page as well as those of other families who we are very lucky to have as part of our local activities.